Life Happens

This is just a collection of Stories and life lessons. 
They aren't in any order

It was the kind of day that kids hate. We had to find my son's doctor's office, which is out on Town Lake Parkway in Woodstock, so we loaded the kids up around 5:30 and went for a ride. An hour ride well, we kinda got detoured with no less than 4 emergency potty breaks so it was about an hour and a half there, then of course is was an hour back. So we hit Home Depot around 8 pm. Well we shopped (aka wandered aimlessly while hubby was sucked into the hardware store trance) and of course took another potty break. By the end of the shopping experience the crew and I were whining about being hungry (we ate lunch at noon and it was now almost 9). So after Home depot we head to O'Charley's. Of course we enter with the normal bickering between siblings until we got to our table. And that’s when we say HIM. . You know HIM the man. . . The man who is the most important man in Hiram, nay the World. . . yes. . . SANTA!!!! He was sitting just a few tables over and the kids were enthralled! He waved at them and they giggled and whispered to each other about all the possible things that Santa could bring them. I of course reminded them to behave and leave Santa alone so the poor man could eat. After Santa finished his meal he came over to our table and handed out "I met Santa" cards. My kids were so happy. The rest of the meal and all the way home was filled with questions about how Santa got to our town, where does Santa really live, did He really see EVERYTHING and how good do you have to be. It was the perfect end to a long evening!
Thanks SANTA!!!

Santa was at the Dollar tree in Hiram this Sunday!

Which was great because I had JUST put my kids on the wall out side the Dollar Tree door and gave them the very stern lecture about how Santa can see you do EVERYTHING and WE WILL behave in this very crowded store. And then we entered and low and behold there he was not 2 feet from the door. Oh he was just dressed in Jeans and a t-shirt with Red suspenders but we KNEW it was him. My kids just froze and their eyes got real big and I could just see their little brains working "mom was RIGHT!" Of course the three year old was enamored and just wouldn't budge even after we waved at Santa, she just stood there staring at him. He even called out to us "I think you've lost one" because she was not going with us when she was in the presence of greatness. She pointed at him every time we saw him. It was GREAT!


We have one of those life size dancing/singing Santas ( no, I did NOT buy one of those annoying things but the In-laws thought it would be GREAT for the grandkids to have one last year so here I am with an annoying dancing Santa).

I've been telling my short three year old for days to "Stay Away from the Santa." She doesn't listen well. She pressed the button and stepped to the side . . . He Knocked her in the Head

She came crying to me "Santa Hit MEEEEEEE"


Happiness is - Sitting in the living room drinking hot cocoa watching Charlie Brown with all the kids

Life is - Sitting in the living room drinking hot cocoa watching Charlie Brown with all the kids when the youngest accidentally spills hot cocoa all over her sister's legs. I jump up grab the injured party, Yelling "get to the bathroom", ripping of pants turning on the shower and checking for burns (thankfully cocoa had cooled some so her legs are just red). Hubby in the mean time is wiping up the hot cocoa (thank God for laminate floors), being the man that he is though he just cleans up the part that he can see so today there is this big sticky mess under the couch that I get to scrub.


If you killed your husband but had a really good excuse do you think you'd do time?

I walk my kids across the street every morning to catch the bus, they get on and then walk back. If the youngest is awake she either walks with me or stays with the middle schooler - if she's asleep then of course the middle schooler listens out for her - If she isn't with me when I walk out the door there are very specific instructions: DO NOT LET HER OUTSIDE - UNLESS THERE IS A FIRE, EVEN THEN HOLD HER.

Hubby is home today

Hubby thought it would be a great idea to let her out the house.

I don't see her

Bus picks up my kids moves forward then STOPS suddenly - I move to see why - she says "Your baby is near the road"

MY. Heart. Drops.

My 3-year-old is standing right beside the road crying - no daddy in sight,

I run across in front of the bus, yell a thank you, snatch up my child, then tell her "I'm going to kill your daddy".

I yell at him and HE GETS DEFENSIVE!!!
saying - well I didn't let her out -
me: Who did?
him: She opened the door, it was unlocked
me: You couldn't stop her
him: I didn't realize she couldn't go out
him: :mumbles something incoherent with a sad dog look:


There are these things called "Poe Souls" on Zelda - you must defeat them and rip out their soul

They appear like a blue/whitish ball of light at first glance then as a wolf you see their true selves

They only exist in the video game

Last night as I was leaving a friends house, I see a blue/whitish ball of light at the end of someone's driveway

For a moment - a whole moment - I thought "There's a Poe Soul - I need to transform into a wolf and kill it"

Then I shook my head and laughed all the way out of the neighborhood (but first I had to go see what it really was ~ just a walk way light).

Yes, Yes I am a WIItard


my 7 year olds answer to the drought
My husband has a tendency to discuss the news that in X number of days we will be all out of water. This makes my 7 year old son nervous. So I've fussed on hubby about that and in front of the kids just to irritate me he'll say BUT when we are out of water the cows will not be able to produce milk. So my son is worried about our milk supply now

But he has a solution: Take a big tube/pipe up into outer space, Stick it into the side of the Milky way and voila - we will have plenty of milk

I so love having kids!


I had an ill dream - it was so real and I was so angry I was just a fussing my hubby out. Woke up grumpy, stumbled down the hall to call him and grump at him, and he's all Mr. sunshine "that was some great luvin last night babe" and my non-caffeinated, sleep clouded brain was like HOLD UP WTH - oh yeah that's right we did have great luvin last night, I'm not pissed at you - stupid dream


God will NOT be happy to see you when you get to heaven
This was the insult from my son that had my 5 year old daughter in tears. Here she is crying about how mean her brother is because he said "God will NOT be happy to see you!", and I just started laughing. What an original insult. That is what I'm gonna start shouting to bad drivers.


So I'm taking a shower last night and I hear the "Omg I’m in pain help me someone please" scream from my 3 year old. So I have to first get dressed - normally I'd have just ran out naked but my 13 year old was upstairs and what 13-year-old wants to see their mom running naked out the room. So I threw on a night shirt and snatch open the door to find my 3-year-old stumbling into my room cause she HASN'T BREATHED SINCE THE FIRST SCREAM. She's got that I'm about to faint look on her BLUE face. So I pick her up and start yelling - NO you won't do that again, START BREATHING. which successfully rendered her back to normal enough to start screaming again. After the initial panic we all calmed down to get the story out. My five-year-old daughter got mad at the 13-year-old but since he was across the room, she decided to just SHOVE HER LITTLE SISTER INTO THE BOOK CASE!!!!! My 3-year-old had a goose egg on her head and my 5-year-old had a red bottom from where she got her punishment.

ARRRGHHH. 5 minutes later the two girls were back to happily playing with legos but there is nothing that will make you panic more than having a child that likes to faint.


Friday night Hubby brought home - Independence Day with Will Smith (kids screamed and couldn't sleep because of Aliens)

Saturday Night Hubby brought home - Jurassic Park (Kids screamed and couldn't sleep because of Dinosaurs)

Sunday Night Hubby brought home - Jurassic Park 2 (Kids screamed and couldn't sleep because of MORE Dinosaurs)

Note to SELF: Hubby is no longer allowed to go to Block Buster!

How to kill a bee according to 6 year old son
Bother it so it will sting you it'll die afterward

God bless him, I'm so proud


The joys of having sons
6 year old son - Mom can you clip my toe nails

Me - yes when I come upstairs

6 year old son - I CHEWED off some of them

Me - O_o


It starts to rain here and they HAVE to run outside put their faces to the heavens and taste the rain. Then they have to play and dance and race around the yard as if they have never seen rain or known anything as enjoyable as being in it. They spent the entire rain storm outside - making up games, sending ships (leaves) down the road as the water rushed by, and just getting wet. It was fun just watching them enjoy the simple pleasures of being a kid. Then of course the rain stopped and it's like someone said - time to go back inside, fun's over.


Wanna know what "Buffalo" means in Spanish?. . . .


so when you are ordering Buffalo Wings - it really means Hot wings in Spanish

This is according to the six year old!



Put tooth paste on it Sissy!
I am not kidding here folks!

Earlier today my soon to be 5 year old daughter was helping move rocks in the backyard (yes I do make my kids to manual labor), and while doing this she smashed her wee thumb in between to hand sized rocks. Well of course it hurts like a mofo - her whole thumbnail has turned a dark blue. Sadly there is very little you can do for a smashed thumb other than lots of kisses, some ice, and Tylenol. Well her sweet loving 6-year-old brother had a wonderful idea for a remedy from the pain - toothpaste! I found them in the bathroom covering it with toothpaste, then kisses, then toilet paper, followed by a my little pony band aid. I swear it was one of the funniest things I'd seen all day!


My soon to be 3 year old in just few days count's 4, 5, 6 and 8, 9, 10 - she dislikes 1, 2, 3 and the number 7 - don't know why And she counts EVERYTHING so all day you hear 8, 9, 10. . . 4, 5, 6

Just another oddity at my home


Abi's having a tea party with "Mrs. Jones" but "Mrs. Jones'" babies can't have any cake cause they already ate too many sweets and "Mrs. Jones" said they were sick. . .

BTW - she's gone to pick flowers for the tea party.


You know you have an addiction when. . .
You load up three tired kids, race across town to get to, then carry one of the tired kids around cause during your racing she feel asleep. . . All for SMUT

Gotta love a good romance book and it was the third in a series and they only had one left

I could be addicted to worst stuff right?


Macy’s poem:
The Earth has come to life today.
Spring is here, hurray, hurray.
The flowers are happy.
They wave delight.
The sun shines bright with all her might.
So fly little fairy, fly, fly, fly.
Fly through the meadow & touch the sky.
When you get to where your going,
Remember this day.
The day the Earth came out to play

So Last night we're eating dinner having a nice family night. We were all at the dinning room table which is placed in front of the sliding glass doors leading to the back deck where the dogs like to hang out - our two fixed female dogs I should mention. For those who don't know I have four children and now my husband works "regular" hours so he was actually at home enjoying dinner with us so we were one big happy family - girls on one side of the table, boys on the other, parents facing the glass door (I have a big square table). Well the dogs decided to put on a show - actually a "performance" is what my six year old boy called it. . . my spitz mix decided to hump my cocker spaniel right in front of the sliding glass door. YEP! Oh she was having a good time, she even grins .

And I was laughing so hard from the comments of my sweet little innocent children! - "oh look mommy Foxy's walking on Zoe" or "She should join the circus - she's doing a performance" "She can do TRICKS!" And my husband was no help because he was whispering naughty things to me - for shame! Thankfully it only lasted for a few moments then her performance was over and she went about her day but I think it's time we bought blinds for the door!!


My daughter the 2 year old likes to go through drawers, well apparently she went through my bathroom drawer and took out a pretty sparkly plastic box design to carry soap while going on trips - only I don't use it for that purpose - and she hid it in the downstairs playroom toybox. My four year old just found it, open it and discovered my stash.. ... my stash of . . . Tampons.
her - Mom?
me - Yes dear?
her - I've found something I don't think I can play with.
me - oh?
her - yes look!
me - Oh, give me that, yes you shouldn't play with that, those are moms
her - what are those
me - those are moms, I'll explain another time
her - are they soap
me - no they're tampons
her - what are tampons
me - not toys, something you'll need when your older, I'll explain later
her - tomorrow morning (she loves the word tomorrow, don't know why)
me - yes dear tomorrow
her - ok then

Dang it now I know I need to practice that speech a little more.


So I was chatting with the four year old and I commented "You get that from your Papa Doug"

She said who is that?

I said you don't remember Papa Doug, My daddy???

Nope, I don't remember him.

She couldn't have hurt me more had she taken a knife and plunged it in my heart. I don't blame her, she was only three when he died, Last time he was "healthy" she was only two and a half , but still It hurts to think my daughters won't remember my father. He Loved them so much.


to all the other walkers going up Stone Mountain yesterday.

1) I should not have let my daughter wear her blue jean jumper while walking on the trail
2) I should have taught her by now NOT to sit with her legs open when wearing a dress
3) I was unaware that my four-year-old daughter did not put on underwear under her stockings and therefore was giving quite a show to all the folks who passed by her sitting knees up and legs spread on the rocks.

I have learned from this lesson and no more dresses when climbing for us

P.S. - Now I'm really worried because she wore the same outfit to church and I have no idea how she sat during class



It's gone. Didn't leave a forwarding address, didn't even take time to pack, Didn't say goodbye, it just left. Skipped down the road holding hands with the last of my hope. They were a happy little couple, even stopped at the bottom of the hill with a jaunty little wave. They left behind crazy mommy

Seriously today my kids were just in rare form. Just nit picky about EVERYTHING. Screaming bloody murder over a sock - MY SOCK, because HE wouldn't let HER play with it. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, you have an entire toy room filled with toys and you want to play with MY SOCK??? I know why my sanity left, because it felt abused - HELLO! I should have known better than to take four kids to Kroger at "5 o'clock rush hour" but oh no not me I just had to test what little bit of sanity I had just because the kids needed milk! See if I ever do that again I tell ya if the Gypsy wagons had wandered by about an hour ago they would have four extra mouths to feed cause I was just about done. Finally I have them all in bed - only because I actually follow through with my threats ~ "If you tattle/whine about your sister/brother one more time I promise you'll go straight to bed!" The youngest got put to bed simply cause she sleeps in the same room as the older girl and just got rounded up with the whole lot - she should learn now about "hangin with the wrong crowd"

So if you do find my sanity - hang on to if for about hmmmm. ... 16 years by then the youngest will be 18 and I >hope< I can actually be sane again!